The Weekly One-on-One – the simple thing that makes you a better leader

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There’s a thing that you can do to become a better leader that it is so simple, it’s difficult for many to believe it can make so much difference.

That thing is the weekly one-on-one. 

The best descriptions of the importance of this and some guidelines come from Manager Tools, founded by Mark Horstman and Mike Auzenne 15 years ago.  Originally a podcast, it’s now a consultancy, training company and there’s a book.    They call the one-on-one the ‘O3’, and they have it as one of their cornerstones of good leadership.

They’re not wrong.

Yet…less than 25% of the leaders I start working with are doing this as a matter of course.  And that’s because, without some very simple guidelines…they don’t work. But with the guidelines in place…they make all the difference.

The Big Idea

Here’s how I outline the idea:

1. Work happens through relationships.  Whether it’s a manager asking for something, a colleague or a customer…it’s a relationship.
2. Building relationships takes time, in both meanings of actually spending time together, and they don’t happen overnight.
3. Time together in busy organisational life only happens when we schedule it.

Combine these three things together, and the need for a regular sit-down between managers and their people is obvious.

Do It Like This

Now, some guidelines for doing these well.  Don’t fight these.  Just do them.  I’ve got years of evidence from clients that these work.

1. Thirty minutes

An hour is too imposing for people, too much time for everyone…and these factors combine to both manager and employee taking the first opportunity to ‘not worry about it’.  We can all handle 30 minutes.  So that’s your time.

2. Weekly

Not fortnightly.  Humans work on weekly cycles (notice how you always need to check your neighbours to see what colour bin it is this week).  And missing a fortnightly meeting means the next meeting will be a month after the last one.  And you can’t build a working relationship on one catch-up per month.

So it’s weekly.  (That’s also partly why it’s 30 minutes.)

3. Agenda is Theirs

This is the key.  Horstman and Auzenne have some more detail in their method, the big gains are about changing the mindset to it being their time.  And with their time, they can do whatever they want!

• Go through a list of questions they’ve been noting during the week
• Talk about the state of modern music
• Ask for feedback on a piece of work
• Ask what the point of anything is, really….
• Workshop through some issues they are having.
• Anything else.

Three things here.

1. There’s a limit to anything else.  This is not therapy.  You are not a qualified therapist, and even if you were, you’re not being paid by the organisation to be one.  You can help people through their work issues, support them during stressful and anxious times, but if the talk to working through personal issues (instead of informing you about them)…that’s where you kindly hand them the card of the Employee Assistance Program and ask how you can support them while they sort themselves out.
2. It being their time means also they don’t have to show up at all.  But whatever they do, that time will always be there for them.  Just sit in your chair and do email (no phone calls, no other meetings of any type including drop-pasts). 
3. You might ask ‘what about giving feedback’?  If they ask…sure.  Be both kind and real.  But if they don’t, find some other time to do this.  This 30 minutes is about connecting.  Not about you getting things off your mind.

4. Never Cancel

You can reschedule the weekly one-on-one if you really have to.  That’s why you should do them on Monday or Tuesday, so you’ve got later in the week to reschedule is something comes up (it has to be good BTW).  But never cancel.  The purpose is to send a clear message that each of your people matters enough to you that you will always have 30 minutes a week for them, no matter what. 

But I Don’t Have Time!

Don’t give me that time rubbish.  If you have 10 direct reports, that’s 5 hours per week.  If you’re lucky enough to only be working a 40-hour week, that’s 12.5% of your time.

For each person, it’s 1.25% of your week.  Less than 2%.

And here’s a secret – you’re going to gain time.  Interruptions will fall by half as people collect their questions knowing they’ve got a bucket of your time every week without fail.  The stronger relationships will see better questions emerge, ideas come up, and people willing to make things better.  All of which means more time for you doing the non-managerial part of the job, which is considering the work needed in the future.

So, I’m fine if you don’t want to make 1.25% of your time for each of your people.  As long as you’re fine handing back $5k of your salary for each person you don’t do this for.  Because if you’ve got ‘Manager’ or some similar word in your title, building these relationships are what you’re paid to do.

Oh…and everyone knows how to do video now.  And phones have always existed.

No excuses.

Bringing it Home

Work is about working with others to create outcomes for those we serve and who fund us.  Working with others requires relationships.  Relationships require time spent.  That time needs to be spent listening to others.

That’s kind of it!

Seems too simple right?

The most powerful stuff often is.

Over to you.